Ate some crap chocolate a box of it and now horrendous pooping time.. After laxatives. I will die if I gain weight
Disinfected bathroom finally, got a Christmas candelabra and a dragon necklace...
It's been snowing and maybe I need a new winter jacket..gotta pay stuff out of the way first
It's full moon, yay
I just updated to iOS 7 with my new 32Gt black iPhone 4. Got it from my London friend. It think I saw slush snow today?
Went shopping in different places. Sweet day but have to start again with the phone...
I was just reading an ebook on how to think like Sherlock Holmes. I think that thinking ruined my life. Never think like a child when you are judged by those who studied psychology. Hell even police do not understand if you still think like a child. That means absorbing everything and accepting stuff. Even for asecond in your mind you have to imagine stuff. Because just because you wrote it dont mean you told your opinion of the way things are. Even a long sentence wont give you the right to make an opinion of me..i could have any material that i picked it up from. Nothing is necessarily authentic. I mean, i was upset and found no reason why i was being cut off with anything related to this Finnish band. I tried to find the reason within myself, but this didnt seem right. Any memory of mine what did it have to do with them? I draw them and had pictures of the singer, but my talent was rejected. I was not a fan. They disincluded me from everything. I wasnt the disaccotiating one. They called me schizoprenic and undermined if i was really there because they didnt know where i had been. What i had discussed or even actually read so they just interpreted like i was nothing.
Even the psychologist thought there was something in the lyrics that someone else invented which i thought had meaning of experience to me. Because no one believed i was writing anything to their forum or sent them anything which had made me angry because i only got a response as on their marketing material, a blank paper then rumbled on the background.
Well i am still trying to figure it out why i was so angry, defeated and misunderstood.. I just took stuff in, i guess words bounced off me, i couldnt finish anything and big part of my life was missing but i did turn to gym, swimming and walking a lot which of course were discarded that i strived toward a healthy weight and after ssri drugs they pumped me in, i wasnt even enjoying food but ate fast and a lot because the risen appetite. I was in silent tears. My life changed so much. No more mum to take care of the damage she had dumped on earth..as i learnt from early age she did not love me. Uncabable to approach men i was.
My grandmother is bringing some mattresses if someone would stay the night and my friend's bed is gnawed by the dog so I'm bringing her a new mattress. My little brother has a birthday soon and bought a toy shop gift card for them. He'll be 12? Anyways... Dyed my brows and lashes, bought a new corset, got a cycling helmet... It's great. I've got projects in the kitchen too.
I was just.. Thought occurred whether my brother is too old for toys. He suscribed to my YouTube.. Well soon he could visit without my mum being there. Not spoken since 2009 to her.
I don't have lots to update.. It's my life